Fear took over, and it was the fear that she would fail
Debbie Millman told me her biggest regret was not “going for it” after she graduated college. She took the “safe” option, got a job and built a career. And a great career she built, becoming the president of Sterling Brands, and working with over 200 of the world’s largest businesses.
Yet, she chose this route not because she wasn’t good enough to make it on her own, but because she was scared to.
Fear itself isn’t a problem. You’re allowed to worry and stress. This doesn’t make you weak, and it does not define you. But, if you wish to get to where you desire, you must fight your fear.
It took Debbie Millman years to figure this out, but once she embraced her creativity, with shows like Design Matters and books like Look Both Ways, she began to overcome her fear of failure.
Millman also told me about a chat she once had with her good friend, Dani Shapiro, who said, “We think we need confidence to do something and take action, but confidence isn’t what we need. What’s more important than confidence is courage and competence.”
Like anything, learning how to overcome your fear of failure is a skill. It takes practice. You need to learn how to embrace it, because once you do you can build real success on the back of it.
As Shapiro says, you don’t need confidence, only a little courage and competence.
Here are a few inspiring TED Talks to help you find some.
‘Smash Fear, Learn Anything’ by Tim Ferriss
To say Tim Ferriss is a high achiever is an understatement, but this doesn’t mean he’s immune from fear and failure. As a young child, he feared water. He avoided swimming for many years. In this inspiring TED Talk, he shares how he overcame this fear, and how this experience helped him re-examine the role it plays in learning (and life).
It set him on an incredible journey, and the realisation that “fear is your friend. Fear is an indicator. Sometimes it shows you what you shouldn’t do. More often than not it shows you exactly what you should do.”
‘Rethinking Failure’ by Barbara Corcoran
Despite a great deal of success, Barbara Corcoran is no stranger to failure. In this TEDx Talk she did for Barnard College, Corcoran dives into the role failure has played in her success, and how she’s learned to embrace it by pushing her fears to one side.
Your fear, for the most part, is something you have made up in your own head. You too can re-imagine and redefine what it means to you. And like Corcoran, you may find your “best successes come on the heels of failure.”
‘Turning Fear Into Fuel’ by Jonathan Fields
A common fear many people share is public speaking. But, like Jonathan Fields finds, this fear often vanishes once you begin and get into your groove. Today, Fields is a bestselling author who works with creative people to build more meaningful and connected lives. But, in his TEDx Talk for Carnegie Mellon University, Fields dives into how he suffered with fear for years, before he turned this into the fuel to produce his best ever work.
A former source of anxiety and paralysis can soon fuel action and achievement. However you feel right now, the only way to make it disappear is to do something. For as Fields asks, “If you are a little unhappy now, do you think doing nothing for 10 or 20 years will keep you a little unhappy?” Like most things in life, your fear only gets worse until you do something about it.
‘The Power of Not Always Fitting In’ by Marianne Cantwell
One of the most common fears I’ve found in entrepreneurs is “imposter syndrome.” On the outside you look cool, calm and in control. On the inside, you’re riddled with self doubt and insecurity. I can relate to this, and when Marianne Cantwell broke down this subject for her TEDx Talk at Norwich Education, I hung on her every word.
After eight years of building a community of lifestyle entrepreneurs, Cantwell recently scrapped a successful online program despite ongoing demand – because it no longer aligned with her version of success
As you can imagine, this created a lot of inner turmoil, but it’s this turmoil that often unearths a hidden strength. This fear that you’re not good enough (or doing the wrong thing) can often spark your biggest success yet. Like Cantwell, you may find life isn’t black or white.
‘What I Learned From 100 Days of Rejection’ by Jia Jiang
As Jia Jiang describes an embarrassing moment from his youth in this TED Talk – watched over three million times – it’s easy to understand why he developed a fear of rejection later in life. He had dreams and aspirations, but for a long time placed these to one side, choosing the easier option, instead.
But, it’s this that led to his adventure into “rejection,” and a community that today helps people overcome their own fears of rejection so they can fulfil their own dreams. Such fear is something that affects us all, but as Liang says, “When you get rejected in life, when you are facing the next obstacle or next failure, consider the possibilities. Don’t run. If you just embrace them, they might become your gifts as well.”
‘Why You Have To Fail To Have A Good Career’ by Michael Litt
Michael Litt believes that “failure provides the ultimate experience needed for success.” Most people dream about overnight success, and maybe they admire someone who started their business or career with a bang.
The truth is, most successful people sneak into success, growing slowly over time, as they make one mistake after another. Or, as Litt says, “You will fail to have a great career, unless you fail to have a great career.” Today, Litt is living proof of this, founding and growing Vidyard into a company that’s changing how brands connect in the digital age – but only after a lot of trial and error.
‘Embrace The Near Win’ by Sarah Lewis
As a renowned art curator who has worked with some of the world’s biggest artists and galleries, Sarah Lewis has had the privilege to learn how creative people work and how they form successful careers. In her TED Talk, Lewis shared one of these invaluable lessons, and how she’s learned to appreciate the “near win.”
She talks about how success is a moment, but how successful people always strive for more. Pursuit is in the mastery, and making one progress after another. Each “near win” pushes you further, meaning your fear of failure isn’t only pointless, but has a direct impact on the progress you make today.
‘Success Is a Continuous Journey’ by Richard St. John
As well as fearing failure, many people fear success. In this inspiring TED Talk, Richard St. John, the bestselling author of The 8 Traits Successful People Have in Common dives into why so many people reach success, only to then fail.
He says, “We think success is a one-way street. So, we do everything that leads up to success, but then we get there. We figure we’ve made it, we sit back in our comfort zone and we actually stop doing everything that made us successful.”
Success is a continuous journey, and failure, fear and mistakes play a role in this. It isn’t a straight line. Your journey is unique to you. It never ends, so why would you let your fear of failure hold you back?
This article was originally posted here on Entrepreneur.com.
21 Inspiring Quotes About Success, Persistence And What It Means To Be An Entrepreneur
Leaders of companies big and small share the mindset it takes to achieve your dreams in the face of all obstacles.
True, being an entrepreneur can be exhausting, lonely, frustrating and terrifying. But it’s worth every drop of blood, sweat and tears when you are pursuing your passion, turning your dream into a reality.
In an ongoing series called Real Entrepreneurs, we pick the brains of founders and leaders about what it is like to have every decision big and small rest on their shoulders and have compiled their thoughts on what it takes to succeed on the long, sometimes crazy journey of an entrepreneur.
The Mindset Strategy From The “Rock Star” Coach Can Turn Your Beliefs Into Results
William Badenhorst, a Director of Global Strengths shares his mindset secret to ongoing entrepreneurial success.
William Badenhorst, a Director of Global Strengths, is a coach to the coaches. His “Rock Star” attitude along with the deep driving desire to help others find their true selves formed the fabric of a highly interesting and entertaining interview.
The rolling thunder of his voice brought forth quote after quote, quip after quip and wisdom after wisdom. As a “peak performance coach” to professional athletes, celebrities, entrepreneurs and corporate career orientated individuals, William believes that knowing who you truly are as an individual is the catalyst for lasting growth and useful change in business and in life in general.
His intense eyes and energetic hand gestures emphasized one of his core beliefs and that is that we all are nothing but our very own beliefs.
“Everyone is focused on Results”
Everyone is always focusing on the outcome – the results they want. But what creates results? Let’s do some reverse engineering. In order to achieve RESULTS we need to take ACTION. And in order to take ACTION we need to make a DECISION. To make a DECISION, we need to think about it – THOUGHTS.
The interesting thing about humans is that we do not create our thoughts, we can only control them. So what does create your thoughts? Your BELIEFS creates your THOUGHTS. So ultimately your BELIEFS creates your RESULTS.
“You don’t attract what you want, you attract what you are.”
It is our very own limiting beliefs, such as for example that “I am not good enough” and “I am not deserving” and “I’m not worthy ” that creates barriers to our own success in entrepreneurial ventures and in our lives. In order to reach our limitless potential we must find and remove the self-created barriers that hold us back.
Although he loves the interaction and benefits of social media he is quick to point out that it also has created a fantasy of who and what we should be. He advises to not to adopt such fantasy as your desired reality but to instead be who you really are as an individual and goes on to quote the famous Greek philosopher Socrates:
“Know thyself, Be thyself and Love thyself”
You always end up falling back on your beliefs -whether they are empowering or disempowering. The challenge with that is that a large number of your beliefs are unconscious especially when you have not put in the work to find out what your belief system truly is.
Through his vast experience as a coach he realized that a large number of people veer away from self-awareness as they are afraid of being judged for whom they truly are.
The conversation naturally evolved into the exploration of the true meaning of the concept of faith and William’s mind grasped at a Quote from the apostle Paul:
“Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen”
He went on to explain that faith is evidence of true-self which creates certainty which in turn is equal to confidence. Confidence brings a certain state where everything flows. He calls it “Peak State”. He further advises to search for evidence of who you really are and gain belief in yourself.
Advice to young entrepreneurs
William’s thoughts on self-development for entrepreneurs are to get a Coach. If you are already in business and don’t have a Coach – get one! Begin with taking extreme ownership and responsibility of everything in your life. And when you do that you win.
Stop blaming everything and everyone around you. Stop complaining about circumstances. You are in control and it is up to you to make it happen. There are no un-resourceful people, there are only un-resourceful states. Go where you are celebrated not tolerated and love yourself unconditionally. Remove the very unrealistic expectations of what and who you should be and authentically be yourself. Believe in yourself and go all in on YOU!
Become the best form of yourself because as an entrepreneur you are the business. Play to your strengths and manage your weaknesses. You do not need a title to lead, have massive self-belief and others will follow.
Have an attitude of constant learning:
“If you are the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room”
And then yet another quote rolled off his tongue that put me in a self-reflective mood:
“A person that shines from within does not need a spotlight”
William Badenhorst, the father, the coach, the entrepreneur and key note speaker left the author and the reader with a question of mesmerising depth:
“What if you woke up this morning with only the things that you were grateful for last night?”
Gratitude is everything!
How You Can Move From Your Potential To Your Purpose
“Value isn’t in opinion, it’s in perspective” – Wes Boshoff
Let’s face it, we all know that when wanting to achieve something different, you need to do something different. The challenge isn’t in wanting the different, it’s in doing the different!
Mark Twain said, “The two most important days of your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why”.
I love that because it highlights the importance of knowing that you have a purpose, and that you need to find it or design it, then live it, love it and look after it.
You have heard it said or said it yourself…”that person has huge potential, if only they would…”. It’s great to have potential but potential doesn’t equate to purpose. They are like elastics, just sitting there on the desk, and it’s not much good to anyone just sitting there. You see there is a gap between potential and purpose and that gap is called ‘The Stretch’.
For that elastic to move from potential to purpose it needs to be stretched, and only once its stretched and put round a bunch of pens does that elastic really move into its purpose. We are a lot like elastics, we need to be stretched to move from potential to purpose. The stretch isn’t always easy because we tend to get twisted out of shape when we need to do something different. However, the stretch is not designed to change who we are, just change how we are.
Here are a few ideas to help you in The Stretch.
Think about what you think about – it’s all in your perspective
Things are achieved or not achieved depending on how we think about them. Do you focus on the obstacles or the opportunities? It’s easy to see the obstacles, the key is to choose which one you going to focus on. Obstacles will always get in the way of opportunities if you let them. So, remain attentive to the possibilities that opportunity brings.
That means you need to position yourself in the way of opportunity, get in its way – make something happen, don’t just sit there! There’s a catch to this one though, opportunity never travels alone, it always comes with responsibility. Do you have the ability to respond to the opportunity? Are you taking responsibility, often we are given it, but we don’t really take it! You need to take and own the responsibility to maximise the opportunity!
Beware of distraction
‘Dis’ – a prefix meaning reversal, or the absence of action and traction refers to grip. When you get distracted you lose grip and that’s dangerous. Imagine driving, suddenly, you’ve lost traction, you are heading in the wrong direction, you may even end up going backwards.
Make sure you stick to what you need to do, create daily productive habits that will help you achieve in the long term. Grow your capacity and increase your footprint. Gain traction by repeating what works for you, that way your practice becomes repeatable and your brand becomes reputable. Don’t stop moving, its easier to change direction while you are still moving, than it is to start moving.
Things don’t always work out
Employ the “What’s Wrong – What’s Next?” philosophy. When things go wrong with people, products or plans, we can get caught up in drama. There’s no time for drama, simply define what went wrong and decide what needs to be done next to fix it. Once fixed, then deal with the doer of the wrong, but deal with them in the right way too…you still don’t need drama!
“Value isn’t in opinion, it’s in perspective” – Wes Boshoff
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