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How To Maintain Energy In Your Relationship In 2017

An entrepreneur works best with the lights on at home. We all do. Sound relationships provide an enabling springboard into each day and if we get it right, we can start the way we intend to finish. With optimal energy in the tank.

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It takes both partners to maintain a relationship’s life-force. It’s easy to keep things vibrant when it’s still early days but as the relationship matures, we tend to become less conscious and more sluggish allowing the vital element of creativity, to become a thing of the past.

Energising relationships are inherently creative. Rather than being black and white or dull and boring, they’re colourful, flavourful and interesting. But after a long day at work, how do we find the capacity to participate, initiate and stimulate? The idea of vegging in front of the TV might seem far more attractive.

Indeed, being slothful is appealing and appropriate at times, but if you’re not mindful, this approach can result in relationship neglect. Whilst 360’s are common HR workplace tools in corporate business, it’s not so common for entrepreneurs to take a holistic view of themselves or to take stock of their energy reserves and the state of their relationships with family and friends.

Related: Disputes Can Arise In Any Relationship And Franchising Is No Exception

If your relationship needs tending, Stephen Covey’s Law of the Farm is worth considering. The Law of the Farm is at the other end of the continuum of the Law of the School. The latter is used in business and hinges around power and control. But it doesn’t work well at home. In fact, if power plays form the game-plan in your relationship (or farm), it’s likely to look barren and forlorn with trust being fast eroded.

In contrast, the Law of the Farm is about sowing and reaping and invites you to view yourself as a farmer who delays gratification and cultivates consciously, growing the relationship and claiming responsibility for the state of the resultant harvest.

This means if your harvest reaps a partner who is resentful and withdrawn, you’d be asking yourself what you might have sown to cause that. Then you’d ask yourself what seeds need planting to change your landscape.

Harvesting a Relationship

Life force is drained by the energy greedy: Demanding people, chaotic events, endless traffic, deadlines, cellphones, stressful confrontations, gossip, negativity, moodiness, nagging uncertainty, anxiety, worry, mistrust, guilt, chores, financial obligations and the myriad defeating thoughts that plague us.

Load these energy sappers on the shoulders of the usually self-reliant, resilient and high voltage entrepreneur who typically neglects to refuel and you’ll see the lights go out in multiple places. 

Related: 5 Business Relationship Building Insights To Grow Your Freelance Network

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12 Measurable Energy Cues in a Relationship include:

  1. Your levels of enthusiasm for one another
  2. Your ability to connect physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually
  3. The twinkle in your eye messaging joy and recognition when you see one another
  4. The attention you pay to each other’s stories
  5. The quality time you invest in the relationship
  6. Your level of proactivity
  7. Your efforts to cultivate romance and adventure
  8. Your ability to be truly present
  9. The amount of laughter you share
  10. Your efforts in getting energy sappers out the way
  11. The warmth and frequency of your embrace
  12. The depth of your listening.

Energy in every relationship needs maintenance and monitoring. Because once we’ve reached burn-out stage and the relationship has run out of steam, it’s likely that energy-sapping resentment, blame and regret has filled the precious spaces where energy-producing enthusiasm once lived. 

Keep Energy in Reserve

So how do we get the energy back in relationships? Reduce what’s sapping you.

Do an audit of all that saps your relationship’s energy. To help you identify these parasites, draw up categories:

1. Internal:

Energy Sapping Thoughts, Energy Sapping Feelings and Energy Sapping Behaviour and Activities (include consuming foods that sap you).

2. External:

Energy Sapping People, Energy Sapping Topics & Conversations, Energy Sapping Events, Energy Sapping Circumstances.

Now do the same for Energisers in the above categories.

Review 1 and 2 above and attribute the amount of time you spend in giving energy and gaining energy.

3. Put on your creative hat and recall what used to energise you or something new that you’re curious about, like dancing, playing games, sport, laughing, sharing, connecting, trying new things, visiting places and people, making love, discussing certain topics, taking risks and so on. Identify which energy sappers you’re going to avoid or give up and identify what energising replacements you desire.

4. Taking only the factors within your control, ask yourself what you need to do and what you will change to ensure that the batteries of your relationship can be and are re-charged.

Related: Understanding The Art Of Relationship Brokering

Your personal energy and the energy you co-create in a relationship has a unique rhythm, flow and voltage which impacts not only you, but the people around you and your business. Uniting with someone who can charge your inner battery, and you theirs, speaks to the tremendous complimentary potential of this reserve.

Learning to tap into your partner on an energetic level will have you hearing their unspoken messages – you’ll be listening to their soul, tapping into their life force and connecting with their subtle nervous system.

If we aren’t vigilant, toxic thoughts and people will deplete our vitality. In the same way the world calls on us to be responsible for our planet’s energy reserves and the footprint we leave behind, so too must we consider how we protect and nurture the energy within ourselves and in our relationships. Relationships are living entities comprising living beings and if there’s no energy left, the lights will simply go out.

Lauren has specialised in cognitive re-programming (Accelerated Behavioural Cognitive Therapy – ABCT) as well as relationship counselling. She’s also a relationship self-help author, Certified Relationship Educator (CRE) and a professional member of both the American Counselling Association (ACA) and the Natural Healers Association. For more info lsclucas.com

Self Development

How To Leverage Your Skills To Start A Side Business

Start a service-based business with knowledge you have acquired over the years.

Abdo Riani

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According to the Global Entrepreneurship Monitor 2016 report, more than 25 million Americans have initiated entrepreneurial ventures. Being an entrepreneur is synonymous with being a risk taker, and one of the best ways to minimise this risk is by starting on the side, from home. In fact, according to the same report, more than half of U.S. entrepreneurs start and operate their businesses from home.

Many aspiring entrepreneurs fail to start a business due to lack of funds and business knowledge. The truth is, in most cases, none of that is required. Entrepreneurs get rewarded for solving people’s problems exactly the way employees get paid for their services. Starting a business is about creating value by solving problems and addressing needs, therefore, capturing an opportunity to serve others and getting compensated for your work is entrepreneurship in its purest form.

Especially for service-based businesses, this does not require a website, marketing campaign, business plan, round of investment funding or any other assets but your existing skills, knowledge and a laptop.

In my experience mentoring entrepreneurs with different backgrounds and visions, I found that most aspiring entrepreneurs worry too much about their 100th customer when they haven’t even acquired their first. Most entrepreneurs worry about growth stages before building a foundation.

This article shares three simple steps to help you clear your thoughts and focus only on the activities that matter in the beginning of a business venture.

1. Define your service

The key is to stick to your area of expertise. While you may have plans to start a thriving business with many products, services and customer segments, thinking too big too soon will have failing consequences. The challenges entrepreneurs face trying to run before they walk is overwhelming, and this causes failure.

What is it that you do today? This will be your service. If you were hired to do a job, chances are you are good at what you do. If you are a social media marketer, other companies need your services and consulting. The same applies to project managers, designers, programmers, teachers, engineers, researchers, assistants, scientists, coaches, speakers, etc.

Grab a piece of paper and write down your solution – “I offer X.” Before defining your ideal customer, start by writing down your service. It’s fine if your solution is as general as, “I offer social media, consulting, accounting or research services.”

Defining your ideal customer in the next step will help you become more specific and targeted.

Related: 20 South African Side-Hustles You Can Start This Weekend

2. Define your ideal customer

Service providers are often challenged with the ideal customer definition. This is understandable because virtually speaking, using some of the services mentioned earlier, many companies of different sizes need project management, design, programming, teaching and coaching services. Focusing on the ideal customer doesn’t just save time and money in finding and serving the customer but more importantly, it helps in the outcome of your contribution and your results. An ideal customer is “ideal” because you know how to help them get results. They need people like you.

The ideal customer definition process starts exactly like service definition. Start with the company that trusted you to do a job — your existing or previous employer. Chances are, many similar companies need your help and expertise. You may want to avoid serving your employer’s competitors, however, using them and their needs as a benchmark will quickly help you identify similar companies in different categories or industries.

No matter how competitive your space is, the barriers to acquiring the first customers will still be much lower than learning a new skill to serve customers in less competitive industries. Stick to your background. Especially in the beginning, focus on customer segments with the least players. The bigger the company, the longer the sales cycle. In this case, even if your experience is in helping Fortune 500 companies scale, you may want to focus on smaller companies with similar profiles and help them grow as big as your current or previous employers.

Your value proposition combines service and ideal customer definition. I help [ideal customer] with [your service], and I do it differently or uniquely by [how are you different].

For example, I help professionals leverage their skills to launch service-based businesses by providing them with a clear roadmap to paying customers, and I do it uniquely through a tested and proven framework that aims to minimise costs and reduce time to acquisition while bringing clarity and trust in the entrepreneur’s journey.

3. Define your acquisition channel

This step is simply about connecting the first two steps. In other words, how do you convey your service to your ideal customer? Use this as a rule of thumb. Your first customers are hand picked. Yes, social media, SEO, funnels, affiliate marketing and all other marketing strategies can help, but you must get your hands dirty to close your first customers quickly.

When you start and don’t have proof or case studies, people will invest in you, therefore, presenting and selling yourself is your best bet. From experience, here are the two best channels to accomplish this goal.

  1. Cold emailing, including using the power and network of LinkedIn. Drafting a personalised email or message that goes directly to your potential customer’s inbox is one of the best ways to grab their attention, especially when you are addressing businesses. Keep your message short, mention an interesting fact about their industry, comment on one of their recent posts or accomplishments, and present your services and how it can help them drive results.
  2. In-person events, especially smaller conferences, meet-ups or social events. Defining your acquisition channels is essentially about finding a way to signal your availability to your ideal customer. Local and national events are a great way to build personal relationships that can soon turn into business partnerships. Spend time developing and nurturing relationships and the rest will follow naturally.

Related: 50 Jobs, Gigs And Side Hustles You Can Do From Home

Finally, and above all, the world needs your skills and expertise, and people are ready to compensate you for your contribution. We are all entrepreneurs in one way or another. Entrepreneurship is about creating value through solutions. You do that already, so it’s about time you capture other opportunities on the side or full-time.

This article was originally posted here on Entrepreneur.com.

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Company Posts

5 Healthy Habits Businesses Should Adopt In 2019

Here are five beneficial habits your business should adopt in 2019.

Fedhealth

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When we think of adopting healthy habits, we usually think in terms of our bodies or our personal lives. But as an entrepreneur, shouldn’t you be adopting healthy habits for your business too? After all, like our bodies, businesses perform better – and are better able to withstand the occasional storm – when they’re functioning at an optimal level. So how does the concept of “health” translate in a small business context? Here are five beneficial habits your business should adopt in 2019:

1. Streamline your cash flow

You can have all the impressive clients you want, but if they’re not paying you on time (or at all), your cash flow will suffer – making it very hard for your business to function. Similarly, if you don’t strategically keep money in your business (for example by only paying bills when you need to), you can also run into trouble. Since cash flow is so important to a healthy business, take a high-level view of the money that’s coming in and the funds going out on a regular basis. Then, make sure that the two work in tandem, so that your bottom line stays as stable as possible.

2. Apply the KonMari method

Author and organising consultant Marie Kondo has exploded in popularity in recent years, and her 2011 book, “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up” has been published in 30 countries. In a nutshell, the KonMari method is all about keeping only those things that spark joy in your life – whether it’s clothes, books or furniture. The result, Kondo believes, is a happier, calmer, more contented life.

You could apply this principle to business too. For example, which clients are more trouble than they’re worth – and conversely, which ones give you joy that you could find more ways to work with? Or, what services does your business provide that your heart’s really not into – and which ones are you passionate about? This mindset could apply to almost any business context, from a branding refresh to streamlining your service offering, or even just clearing the clutter from your office.

3. Use tech to get organised

Admin tasks can often be overlooked in a small business, because employees are typically wearing so many different hats: they’re salespeople, account managers, the HR department and more. But if you let the admin slip, your business can suffer, and this can spill over into your dealings with customers. Luckily these days, there’s lots of tech available to help you with almost every aspect of business administration, from invoicing and budgeting, to timesheets and project management. Most of these are available at a minimal cost (or even free), so they don’t require a huge outlay. Making this small investment can pay for itself many times over in helping your business run more smoothly.

4. Get the pipeline rolling

The key to keeping your business healthy is to keep the momentum going, which means keeping the flow of new customers. Even if you’re in a comfortable position right now, you never know what’s around the corner in terms of your industry, new competitors or the economy in general. That’s why it’s important to keep stoking your sales pipeline by looking for new leads all the time. Be proactive: go to networking events, ask to be introduced to companies you want to work with, or even just try and upsell to existing clients.

5. Keep your people healthy

When it comes to the health of yourself and your employees, the personal and business worlds definitely merge. After all, if you or your employees are constantly sick, they can’t be giving their best to your business. Several medical schemes, such as Fedhealth, have a medical aid offering specifically for corporates and their employees. Besides helping to lower absentee rates and improve productivity, you’ll also boost employee morale by the improved benefits you’re offering.

By adopting just a few healthy habits within your business, you’ll make sure that in the long run, it’s as successful as it can be. It works the other way too: A successful business will have a positive impact on you as the business owner – you’ll enjoy going to work and be happier in general, which will go a long way to keeping you healthy too.

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4 Ways to Stop Worrying in 2019

If you’re a bit of a worry-wart, you have to acknowledge this and get proactive about managing your stress, anxiety and worrying levels. Here’s how.

Fedhealth

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What if I can’t complete that piece of work in time? What if my home gets burgled while I’m on holiday? We all worry – some people more than others. A few of these worries are genuine concerns, but most are completely out of our control and are most likely never to materialise.

But still, they occupy our minds. And with the digital world now occupying even more of our time, we’ve been given even more material to worry about. Famines in far-away countries, children orphaned by a flood, if we simply turn on our TVs or look to social media, we can become completely overwhelmed by what we see. And it’s making us all desperately unhappy.

So, what do we do? If you’re a bit of a worry-wart, you have to acknowledge this and get proactive about managing your stress, anxiety and worrying levels. Here’s how:

Monitor and limit social media

social-media-management

We all know our phones are an addiction. And scrolling through Twitter or Instagram, you can compare your life to everyone else’s and add another huge worry to your ever-growing list: I’m not good enough/my life sucks. Which is why there’s a growing trend among Generation X-ers (and even some Millennials), to quit social media altogether.

“It was like breaking an addiction for the first few days, where I felt I was missing out, but after a few weeks I realised that the world carries on, and I was still in touch with those people I actually wanted to connect with. I felt lighter and happier,” says Caryn White*, a mother-of-two and small business owner. If you can’t quit social media for work reasons, then take it off your phone, and only access it on your desktop at specific times of the day.

Limit news

We’re not advocating sticking your head in the sand: just limit which channels you absorb news from, and how often you do it. The last thing you need is to open up your phone on waking up and read about the latest catastrophe, which you are powerless to do anything about.

Pick a few trusted news sources and check them at specific times. Avoid the news on the radio in your car; rather listen to fascinating audio books or podcasts that lift your mood instead of making you worry.

Assumption or fact?

This simple concept is incredibly helpful when faced with a worrying situation. Your child has a strange rash, you’ve Googled it and you’re pretty sure it’s chickenpox. Now the whole family is going to get it, you’ll miss work, your boss will be angry, and you may lose your job. Is the fact that your child has chicken pox an assumption or a fact?

Is losing your job a fact or an assumption? They’re both assumptions. So, take your child to the doctor, get a proper diagnosis and then take the next steps from there (a good medical aid can also help ease the stress of the financial cost of doctors’ visits). This approach is a simple way to deal with worries that start to spiral out of control in your mind.

Write them down

Worrying can seem insurmountable if it’s all in your head. Instead, try this strategy from Qualified FAMSA Counsellor Lynette Blomfield:

  1. Take a few deep breaths with your eyes closed, until you calm down.
  2. Once you’re calm, write down the five most stressful things on your list. It could be increasing expenses, like a huge jump in medical aid costs per month.
  3. Brainstorm what you could do to change or eliminate the worry/problem (maybe you can move to a medical aid company that charges less each month?). If necessary, ask a good friend or colleague for advice.
  4. Focus on making progress, not ticking all your worries off and striving for ‘perfection’.
  5. Stay on course and come back to your list regularly.

Dealing with worrying is about being proactive. You’re the only one that can begin the process of reducing anxiety, so now’s the time to take some steps. If you don’t know how to begin doing this on your own, it may be best to see a qualified counsellor or therapist to get you started.

*name has been changed

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