The weird nature of this type of thing – starting a business, starting a family – is that by definition you’re always a novice: Everyone does it for the first time, everyone needs to work it out for himself. Ironically, if you’re good at both, it will be really, really hard. Typically, things you’re good at are easy, but this seems to work the other way around: Being a successful entrepreneur and the kind of dad your kids crane their necks to find in the crowd when they’re playing sport, requires enormous, consistent, thoughtful effort.
From a certain perspective, things are clearly more challenging for today’s aspiring entrepreneur. The modern world has a complexity that dads of previous eras didn’t have to grapple with. Noah, in launching his nautical cruise business, never had to catch the red eye to Jerusalem. Marco Polo never battled with cell phone reception while on his way to meet customers. To be sure they had other challenges, but they were somewhat linear. Today, the future Steve Jobs has to wrestle with something far more mercurial and slippery: Time.
Sprinkle in the contemporary demand for a man to balance the needs of fatherhood with his career, and you have the built-in tension which, simply put, some rise to and other don’t.
I’m not quite sure how I’m fairing
There are some days where we land some achievement at work and I get home and one of my sons wants to sit on my lap and tell me about his day. On those days I try to remember to fist pump and tell myself what super-human man I am. Other days I leave for an early flight before anyone else is awake and forget I was meant to take one of the boys to swimming lessons that afternoon. In any event, here are the lessons I’m learning. (I suggest starting from the top and mastering each level before moving onto the next until you gradually become the Dad-entrepreneur Jedi that I know lurks inside you.)
OK, here goes:
- Never ever have kids at the same time as starting a new business (oops!)
- If you break rule one, try very, very hard to learn your lesson and not do it again (dammit!)
- If you’re still reading you’re not doing very well, are you? I suggest you take a really deep breath, suck it up and get on with it. (Seriously, this is actually the most important rule – the rest are details, really.)
- Don’t bother reading Elon Musk’s book because you heard he had 5 kids and built a tech empire and thought, “Mmm he sounds like a guy who might have some answers”. His answer involved a small army of au pairs. Your wife probably won’t let you hire one (remember Tiger Woods?) and let’s face it most of us start up a business with a little less than Ellon-Paypal-Musk.
- Try not to travel on Fridays, so you can be home on Saturday mornings. Seriously, this should be obvious, but it took me a while to figure out. And get up early on Saturday to buy coffee and croissants for breakfast. That works well.
- Never ever send your wife pictures from a business trip unless where you’re standing is absolutely horrific. She will always assume your business travel is incredibly glamorous and way more fun than staying at home with your amazing kids. War zones, cities after some sort of natural disaster or some sort of heavy industrial setting work well. Never under any circumstances send a pic where there is any trace of blue sky, sunshine or (god forbid) a beach.
- Never phone your wife while anyone is laughing in the background. And don’t call her if you can hear female voices either: this will not end well. If there is a hairdryer in the hotel room I sometimes turn it on before I call to drown out any potentially fun-sounding noises that might escape from my un-airconditioned, 1-star, economy hotel in Lagos.
- OK, back to kids. (Rule 6, strictly speaking, comes from my “How to avoid pissing your wife off while building a business” list, but I usually include it in all my lists because the costs of getting it wrong permeates the rest of your life so powerfully.) Explain to your kids what it is you do. You’d be amazed how much they understand and how fulfilling it is to have them relate to what you’re trying so hard to do. We have a drinks company and my son, from about 4-years old, has been happily telling everyone he’d rather be a whisky salesman than a doctor. How cool is that? If anyone wants to nominate me for Best Dad 2018, please go ahead.
- I’ve left some of the biggies for later as they’re the hardest. Also, if you’ve mastered things so far, you are fast approaching ninja level and Jedi is in sight. This will sound simple, you’ve heard it before and (like the force) you absolutely know it without needing to be told: don’t spend your weekends on your phone, be present. It doesn’t really matter what you do: if my son wants to poke slugs in our garden, then I need to find him just the right stick and not be distracted by my phone.
- Buy them stuff when you’ve been away for a while. Not expensive stuff, but random, unique things from far-away places that create excitement when you return, remind them you’re thinking about them all the time, and give you an opportunity to talk about where you’ve been. (By the way I’m referring to gifts for the kids. Gifts for your wife operate on an entirely different set of principles, refer to rules 1-4 of my other list if you want some guidance as to what to buy her. Please don’t confuse the two. Please, just don’t.)
And finally, learn how to deal with feeling guilty. This is hard and there will be times when you fail to be the best dad and entrepreneur you can be. In fact, this will happen often. But remember the guilt is there because you’re trying so hard at both not because you aren’t. Use it to remind yourself what is important and help you think harder about how to do the best at both these amazing jobs you’re fortunate enough to have.
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A Brain Surgeon’s Tips For Handling Stress Head-On
If you’re comfortable, you’re not learning, this neurosurgeon advises. Oh, and another thing: “Never cut what you can’t see.”
Most people at least try to avoid stress, especially when it comes to business and workplace conflicts. Even successful, high-profile business icons struggle with how to handle stress: Elon Musk recently admitted in a tweet reported on by CNBC that he faces “unrelenting stress.”
That’s alarming to hear from such a famous and successful entrepreneur. And he’s hardly alone in the world of business: But as a businessman myself, and a neurosurgeon, I’ve discovered that the secret to a more fulfilling, successful life and career is to engage with stress, not run away from it.
In fact, many stressors we encounter are actually beneficial. Without the stress of gravity, our bones would soften; without the stress of exercise, our muscles would atrophy; and without the active engagement of our minds, our intellects would weaken and we would become more susceptible to dementia.
What’s more, when we’re not exposed to stress, we’re not learning or growing or getting stronger. Only when we fully engage in stressful situations and face our fears head on can we succeed in our personal and professional lives.
As a surgeon, I’ve encountered numerous high-stress circumstances requiring a cool head and decisive action. The discipline of neurosurgery has helped me develop cognitive dominance: It’s enhanced my situational awareness for making rapid and accurate decisions under stressful conditions, while the clock was ticking.
But if my years of making life-or-death decisions in the operating room have taught me anything, it’s that all of us must have the right tools to conquer one of the fiercest opponents any of us face: stress and fear. So, the next time you face a high-stress situation, try the following strategies for making better decisions under extreme pressure.
1. Always place a drain
While many difficult situations in life are out of our control, others should never occur in the first place.
There’s a rule in brain tumor surgery: Aways place a drain. That preemptive procedure of putting into place a fluid drain gives surgeons more control of the operative micro-environment and makes the removal of a tumor safer by providing a “pop off” valve that can relieve intracranial pressure. By following this rule, we prevent a life-threatening problem during surgery and control our stress in the OR.
What are your safety valves? What are the “rules” you follow in your life that control stress and keep it in check?
One way to manage stress in the workplace is to deal with your overloaded email inbox. If you find yourself drowning in emails, with unanswered messages from months ago still sitting in inbox purgatory, wipe the slate clean and start fresh with an “email bankruptcy.” Simply delete all emails in your inbox with dates that are over a month old and move on.
With so much electronic communication today, who can possibly keep up? Striving to do so will only result in unnecessary stress, distracting you from truly important matters. An email bankruptcy allows you to stay in the current moment and keep your thoughts focused. (Besides, if something is truly important, the sender will follow up.)
Taking simple burdens such as these off your shoulders will free you up to make better, more level-headed decisions in all aspects of life.
2. Never cut what you can’t see
This pearl is based on the first rule of neurosurgery from my mentor, the master neurosurgeon Peter Jannetta: Never cut what you can’t see. Just as illumination and magnification are vital to surgeons, making tough decisions under pressure requires first shining a light on an issue and studying the situation closely to determine its true nature and ultimate solution.
I recently encountered significant stress in preparing for the most important toast of my life … for my only daughter’s wedding. I struggled with a flood of emotions the week before and broke down every time I also practiced my toast – a lot. After a lot of thought, I realised my problem stemmed from remorse at missing out on so many events in my daughter’s childhood due to my hectic surgery schedule.
Illuminating the issue allowed me to accept that these thoughts were natural for someone in my profession: Surgeons whose medical duties often bump up against family obligations. Rather than letting regret torpedo my speech, however, I determined to apply myself to being a better, more present parent in her adulthood.
If you’re running up against a roadblock or find yourself in a stressful or tense position, first shine a light on the issue and look at it from multiple perspectives. Ask yourself, “Why am I so anxious about this upcoming business meeting?” or “What’s really making me clash with this particular team member?” Make a point to illuminate, magnify and dissect your problem: The anatomy of the issue might be right in front of you, and you just haven’t been able to recognise it yet.
3. Get a second opinion
Avoid your first reaction to any stressful event, as it’s often the wrong one. Almost invariably, your first reaction is going to be geared toward self-preservation, and that’s not generally the best solution to any problem. Instead, find ways to de-personalise the situation, removing emotion from the decision-making process to make smarter choices based on measured facts and different perspectives, not off-the-cuff feelings.
For example, I find it difficult to maintain a balanced perspective when a patient isn’t doing well or has unexpected symptoms after a surgery, so I often turn to one of the five other doctors in my practice for an unbiased, third-party analysis. Reaching out for another opinion is helpful from the perspective of achieving optimum care and deleting the emotional aspect.
If you find yourself stressed, nervous or under the gun, don’t leave the decision on your own shoulders. Get an outside opinion from a trusted partner, colleague, friend or mentor to obtain an unbiased assessment.
By facing stress head-on with these rules, you can gain greater control in work and personal matters, allowing you to practice cognitive dominance in any situation.
This article was originally posted here on Entrepreneur.com.
How To Accomplish More In 4 Days Than Most People Do In 4 Weeks
Practice and self-control are key.
We all know that it takes hard work to achieve our goals. And in the world of business and entrepreneurship, we often hear how we must be willing to sacrifice weeks, months, even years of slaving away to suceed.
But what if we’re all just doing it wrong? What if there was a way to accomplish a huge to-do list in less than half the time it would normally take? Barring the discovery of a time machine or a wormhole, you might say this is impossible. But with a little practice and self-control, it’s possible to get to the finish line before most people even start the race.
1. Use the 80/20 rule
The Pareto principle is a universal truth that can help us recognise where to focus our efforts to be most productive. The basic rule of thumb works like this: 80 percent of results will come from just 20 percent of the action. In other words, roughly 20 percent of your customers will account for 80 percent of your total profits. Likewise, about 20 percent of your daily tasks account for your most important and time-consuming projects. The remaining 80 percent of daily tasks are relatively low-level functions and less important undertakings.
Having a laser-like focus on those top 20 percent of tasks is the most valuable use of your time. Once those tasks are complete, you can work on the bottom 80 percent, or delegate those tasks to others. Keep yourself on track by always asking yourself: “Is this one of my top 20 percent most important activities, or is this a bottom 80 percent task?”
The same goes with other areas of your business. Focus on strengthening your relationship with the 20 percent of people who are your money makers: Those who are consistently working hard for you or are your top clientele.
2. Break big tasks into manageable chunks
Procrastination often hits us when we’re feeling overwhelmed. We avoid starting a huge project because it feels daunting and we can’t imagine how we’ll tackle it. So stop trying to take on monster-sized jobs.
Break tasks into manageable pieces so you’re just taking on one small task at a time. Make sure your to-do list is broken into tasks that can be accomplished relatively quickly – a half hour or less. Then start using a stopwatch to kick your focus into high gear.
Set a timer for 20 minutes and tell yourself you must stay totally focused until it goes off. You’ll be shocked by how much you can accomplish! And once you’ve finished the allotted time, you may be motivated to keep going – how much more can you do in another 20 minutes?
3. Outsource tasks to focus on your talents
Most of us are really good at a handful of things, and are average or OK at everything else. The best use of your time is to focus on the areas where you’re strongest. If you can hand the other tasks off to someone else, you’ll have more time to focus on the tasks you’re best at. You can do this by outsourcing jobs that you don’t excel in.
Outsourcing might mean hiring someone or using a form of automation technology. Tasks that may be easy to outsource include web developer, content writer, graphic designer or a general virtual assistant, who can ease the burden of many daily tasks such as setting appointments or returning emails.
4. Understand your natural rhythms
What time of the day do you have the most energy? When are you most creative? In order to be efficient and make the most of your productivity, you have to know how to manage your energy. You have to understand your body’s natural timetable. Is there a time of day when you always feel in a slump or a time when you feel raring to go? Prioritise important tasks to those times when you know your mind is alert.
In order for this to work, you must have established routines. This will help you create a pattern so you can observe your natural rhythms. When you know you’re at your best, focus on detail-oriented and difficult tasks. And remember to give yourself breaks to keep your energy level high throughout the day.
5. Cut out distractions
Your ability to focus is key to your productivity and getting more done in a short amount of time. Researchers have found that it takes a typical office worker 25 minutes to return to the original task after an interruption. Work interruptions also decrease accuracy by 20 percent.
By eliminating distractions, you’re giving yourself back all that wasted time. Try scheduling chunks of uninterrupted time that allow you to dive into a project. And as much as possible, avoid leaving things half done. If you start something, finish it! Each day, set goals you want to accomplish and then make it happen.
Your smartphone is one of the biggest distractions. The average person can’t leave their phone alone for six minutes, and most of us check it up to 150 times per day! So if you need to be hyper-focused on something, work on one screen at a time. Turn off your smartphone notifications or try putting your phone away for periods of time.
6. Focus on one thing at a time
We used to think multitasking could help us accomplish more, but we now know that the human brain wasn’t designed to focus on more than one thing at once. However, most of us find ourselves toggling between web pages, email, text messages and the task at hand, and then we wonder why we never seem to get anything done. It’s time to start monotasking.
Monotasking, also known as single-tasking, is about focusing on one thing at a time so we get more done. It requires you to break your multitasking habits. Because we live in a highly connected world, that’s not always easy or even possible for every task. But monotasking allows you to get into deep work, where you can really focus on a demanding task.
Try setting aside two to four hours daily when you can focus on one thing without interruption. It may take a while to develop this skill, but eventually you’ll be able to engage both sides of your brain to make incredible breakthroughs that have an impact on your business.
7. Capture stray thoughts
It can be annoying when a tantalising thought enters your brain when you’re in the middle of doing something else. “I need to remember to this!” you tell yourself. And then you try to set the thought aside, while simultaneously trying to remember it.
As you may have learned from experience, trying to remember a thought while you’re involved in a task often fails. However, if you write it down you can truly let it go, knowing you can reexamine it later. You close the loop. If you rely on memory, you’re either wasting energy trying to remember it, or you forget it completely and lose the value of that idea. Either way, it’s a waste.
Make sure you capture these random thoughts and ideas, either in a notebook or in an app that you always have handy. This can be part of a massive, ongoing brain dump that you can refer back to and will ensure that you don’t lose that lightning bolt of genius, or forget that you need to pick your suit up from the cleaner. Just be sure to review your notes on a regular basis!
8. Sleep, eat and breathe
It’s nearly impossible to be hyper-productive if you’re feeling exhausted, hungry or overwhelmed. It’s important that we continue to engage in self-care, even when we’re slammed at work or are feeling overwhelmed with projects. You’re not a machine – you need rest, food and a clear mind to perform well. That means ditching junk food and fast food, and nourishing your body with healthy meals and snacks. It means getting a solid eight hours of sleep at night, exercising during the day and carving out time for mental breaks.
Taking even a few minutes out of your day to focus on your breathing or to meditate can help you clear your mind. Another option is to go for a quick power walk or take the stairs rather than the elevator in your office building. These activities will help reinvigorate you so you can focus. Think of it as a reboot for your brain.
This article was originally posted here on Entrepreneur.com.
Constance Halaveli – Savour Life On A Magical Secluded Island Hideaway
A 5* luxury island hideaway on stilts in the Indian Ocean that puts paradise at your fingertips. Unforgettable dives and unspoiled beaches make for a totally spoiled you and your loved ones. The magic of your surroundings is as romantic as it is exceptional. Constance Halaveli is like nowhere else. Disconnect. Reconnect. And enjoy relaxation perfected.
Floating in the North Ari atoll and shaped like a curved Dhoni (Maldivian boat) is the five star Constance Halaveli. It is a place where time seems to have stopped and dreams become reality. Water and sand combine and lie in contrast to the exuberant green of the foliage. The shadow of the 86 villas falls on the turquoise lagoon. The three restaurants and the U Spa by Constance ensure that both body and mind are well cared for. Constance Halaveli is a place to relax and regenerate in overwhelming peacefulness.
Choose from one of the 57 Water Villas, 9 Beach Villas, 11 Family Beach Villas, 8 Double Storey Beach Villas or the lavish Presidential Beach Villa at Constance Halaveli Maldives. All the villas are air-conditioned and feature their own private plunge pool located on the beach or over the water.
They are comfortably furnished using modern wood, marble and equipped with hairdryer, LCD TV 42’ /satellite channels, DVD, WI-FI Internet access free of charge through Imac system, wireless streaming via Air Play / Android & PC streaming, telephone, mini-bar, mini wine cooler with a selection of wine, tea & coffee facilities, individual safe, desk, sitting area and 24h room service. Each villa has also a furnished terrace or balcony and bathroom comprising of separate shower (inside or outside), bath/WC.
Highlights of your stay
- Connect with the whale shark during an unforgettable dive
- Contemplate the astonishing atolls from a sea plane
- Taste one of our Millesimal, your feet in the water
- Meditate at sunrise with our yoga master
Indulge in fine food and sumptuous flavours at Jahaz, Jing and Meeru restaurants. For palate pleasing cocktails; divine vinous experiences, step in Jahaz, Jing Bar & Wine Cellars.
The marvelous U Spa by Constance at Constance Halaveli rests on stilts above the gently lapping waters of the Indian Ocean and has stunning views across turquoise waters from the treatment rooms, a spacious, decked outdoor wet area and an Ocean Salon. Relax, rejuvenate, detox, re-hydrate or simply enjoy – the choice is yours. Our highly skilled team is at your disposal to help you decide which treatments are best suited to your needs.
The Constance Hotels and Resorts Group owns and manages a number of luxurious island destinations in the Indian Ocean, made up of 5-star Resorts: Constance Belle Mare Plage (Mauritius), Constance Ephelia (Seychelles), Constance Moofushi (Maldives), Constance Tsarabanjina (Madagascar) and 5-star deluxe Hotels: Constance Prince Maurice (Mauritius), Constance Lemuria (Seychelles) ,Constance Halaveli (Maldives) and Constance Aiyana (Pemba, Zanaibar).
Distinctive elements for these hotels and resorts include magnificent locations with some of the most beautiful beaches in the world; distinctive architecture and design; warm hospitality; completely personalised guest experiences; gastronomic excellence matched by internationally recognised sommeliers; Constance Kids Clubs at almost all hotels and resorts (except, Constance Moofushi, Constance Tsarabanjina and Constance Aiyana); complete wellness and rejuvenation with U Spa by Constance; and some of the most beautiful natural diving locations in the world (PADI and CMAS are available at all hotels). Constance Belle Mare Plage, Constance Prince Maurice and Constance Lemuria Seychelles on Praslin all have 18-hole championship golf courses.
Contact us now for your island destination holiday in some of the most idyllic spots in the world.
Central Reservations: Tel: +230 402 27 77
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