When I got married I tried working with my wife. It didn’t go over so well. My wife had a very hard time separating work from family, while I found it very easy. We started to fight often. After three months of working together, we decided jointly that it wasn’t working for us.
We haven’t fought like that since. Years later and with children in the mix we’ve learned a lot about each other. I’ve learned that the key to working with your spouse at work isn’t that different from learning to work with your spouse in a marriage.
One of the most popular benefits of starting your own business is having the flexibility to spend more time with your family. You’re the boss and can set your own hours. But some entrepreneurs want to spend even more time together – and start their own co-owned business venture.
According to the National Federation of Independent Businesses, 43 percent of small businesses are family businesses with 53 percent of managers in these businesses are identifying a spouse as the family member who is sharing day-to-day management. With even more people opting to tread the path of the entrepreneur, we could see more and more couple-owned businesses.
“We assume that [husband and wife-run companies] are a wonderful thing because there are a number of high-profile couples who are still around to talk about their businesses and their marriages and how they make it worked,” says Wharton management professor Laura Huang. “But in general, it may not be a good idea to go into business with your spouse.”
Yes. Working with your spouse comes with a lot of pros. One pro is sharing the same goals and values and being able to celebrate success together. While you’re celebrating – the spouse actually knows what you are celebrating and why it’s important. The spouse-partners seem to have a deep trust and understanding of each other, personally, as well.
There’s also the other side – the cons. This includes handling the pressures of the working situation in a different way. Think about how you might bring work stress home then try not to discuss the elephant in the room. The personal and professional pressures then, sometimes become intermixed.
But, what does science actually say about working with your spouse.
A five-year study of around 5,000 couples conducted by Brittany Solomon and Joshua Jackson of Washington University in St. Louis found that a spouse’s personality affects your career.
Their research uncovered that conscientious people foster success wherever they are, and in whatever space they live in. Conscientiousness is characterized by a tendency to be organized and dependable. It also creates conditions that foster success in all other areas of their lives.
Because of their innate attention to detail, conscientous people notice and support their spouse by helping them complete day-to-day household tasks. The conscientious person encourages habits like reliability, and helps others to reduces their overall stress. They are more likely to be promoting a healthy work-life balance.
While that’s a start and provides a little insight, it doesn’t focus on couples working with each other in a joint business venture.
Research from the Danish Institute of Labor Economics (IZA) [I know, the acronym doesn’t match in English] looked into this phenomena. The Institute collected a sample of 1,069 Danish couples who had established a joint enterprise between 2001 and 2010.
The research found that starting a business together provided significant income gains for the couple. Nicole Torres in the Harvard Business Review, commented on this research. Torres “suggests that starting a business together is typically a sound investment of both spouses’ human capital. It has the added benefit of reducing income inequality in the household.”
This same study “also found that couples that open businesses together are no more or less happy than other couples.” Data was measured by usage of antidepressants or anxiety/insomnia medications.
Torres continues, “they’re no more or less likely than their counterparts to separate, divorce, or have children.”
On the flipside, a research paper came from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill (UNC). It’s conclusions were “that gender inequality in the distribution of control was more likely to occur within spousal teams.” According the papers’ authors, “women have reduced chances to be in charge if they co-found new businesses with their husbands.”
Their theory comes from noting the expectations involving gender-typical work. “For example, men are expected to be the “breadwinner” while women are the “homemaker.”
Kathy Marshack, a clinical psychologist who studies entrepreneurial couples, added that co-entrepreneurial wives believe that it’s just their job to make their husbands “look good.”
“I found that the wives were not as independent as women who were in a career separate from their husbands,” Marshack said. “On a test of sex role orientation, [women in separate careers] tended to score high on desirable feminine traits. Whereas dual career wives scored high on desirable feminine traits and high on desirable masculine traits.
“The latter is what we tend to see with women who function as more independent professionals in the work world. They also have more egalitarian marriages than the copreneurial wives.”
Trisha Harp, founder of the Harp Family Institute (HFI), focused on the effect that entrepreneurship has on relationships and vice versa. “Our research shows that 87 percent of respondents have experienced cash flow problems at some point in time with their company,” Harp told Entrepreneur. When entrepreneurs experience these cash flow problems, their sex lives decrease.”
“Since money and sex are two of the main causes for divorce, this is a little concerning,” says Harp.
Interesting, when the test subjects were asked: “Knowing what you know now about being the spouse of an entrepreneur, would you still marry your entrepreneur?” Eightyeight percent surprisingly said, “yes.”
Harp believes this is because “in spite of the roller-coaster ride that defines entrepreneurship, spouses have reported a great feeling that they are “on this journey together.” There is a strong desire to stick it out. HFI data also shows that when couples create a shared vision for their future, their satisfaction in all areas of life increases.”
Harp’s research also discovered that:
- Creating shared business and family goals lead directly to greater happiness.
- Positive outcomes actually result from sharing both the good the bad regarding the business.
- Entrepreneurs need to be on the same team.
- Showing gratitude and being loving, fun, intelligent and honest are important.
Despite what the science says, there is no easy answer on whether or not you should work with your spouse. Between the research and from my personal experience, it can actually be a good thing. Besides the financial perks, it guarantees that you spend time with your spouse, who you can trust the most in the world. In my opinion, it’s a win-win.
That doesn’t mean that it’s a walk-in-the-park. To ensure that you can survive working together, here’s some of my favourite tips:
- Communication and listening are absolutely essential.
- Divide and conquer responsibilities based on your strengths.
- Don’t talk about work 24/7. We have a rule that all work talk stops before 8pm.
- Don’t bring personal issues into work. Have those discussions during off-hours.
- Have separate workspaces so that you’re not literally with each other 24/7. If you work from home, consider leaving the house twice a week and work at your local coffee shop. Shared entrepreneurial office spaces work very well, also.
- Make time for your relationship, like going on a two-week long vacation.
- Always be supportive – even during those bad times.
- Understand what you’re getting into. Entrepreneurship is hard and isn’t for everyone. Make sure that you understand the time and financial risks involved. Discuss how it’s going to impact your relationship and lifestyle. Determine and respect roles and responsibilities. Make sure that you’re both on the same page when it comes to all financial decisions and business goals.
Here’s to figuring this out!
This article was originally posted here on Entrepreneur.com.
Crushing It? More Like Crushing Me. How One Missed Flight Stopped Me From Burning Out
Constant travel, trade shows, 5 a.m. starts, 16-hour days and late-night drinks with partners had left me spent.
Tech start-ups have a storied culture of breakneck-paced work and personal sacrifices. The industry is led by individuals who have proudly made their work their life, whatever the cost. The frantic energy of this lifestyle is exciting, and the image of it is alluring. But, make no mistake, it’s also unrealistic and dangerous.
In 2013, I launched a video feedback technology company, Voxpopme. We’ve quickly scaled to employ 50 people across three continents, raising millions from angel investors and VCs. We’ve also accumulated a client list including many Fortune 500 brands. On the exterior, everything looked great. But, in July, after over 45 solid days on the road, the happy accident of a missed flight reminded me of just how much I was missing by keeping this schedule.
The day before I needed to be in Nashville, Tenn., for a client meeting, followed immediately by two weeks of travel in the U.K., I missed my flight to London. Looking at my laptop to re-book, I felt overwhelmed and was overcome with a need to stop, to take a break, to escape. I had already worked through the majority of a family vacation just a few weeks earlier. Constant travel, trade shows, 5 a.m. starts, 16-hour days and late-night drinks with partners had left me spent. After thriving on the adrenaline of constant work for months, something had changed. I was absolutely dreading it. I just wanted to be at home. I missed my wife, my kids, even just sleeping in my own bed.
I canceled the rest of my trip and, after returning home, I had a period of intense reflection where I learned a lot about myself, and about the unforgiving pressure that entrepreneurship can cause. Fortunately, this learning experience only came at the cost of a plane ticket. But, I’d like to share the lessons learned. Others in my shoes have pushed themselves past where they should and paid a higher price.
Lesson 1: There are no CEO superheroes
I’ve come to realise the impossibility of becoming one of those romanticised, non-sleeping startup CEO geniuses. This class of person did not exist in the first place.
The myth of the superhero-CEO is common because it serves a potent marketing goal. As the Wall Street Journal noted in June, “Powerful founder-CEOs who were once lauded for flouting convention are facing a new reality: They aren’t superheroes, after all. Treating them as if they were has been bad for their companies and investors alike.”
The myth’s danger, as the Journal article states, is because it is the root of the misplaced confidence in companies like Theranos, where Elizabeth Holmes’s purported genius was used to silence the company’s critics. This myth gave former Uber CEO Travis Kalanick too much leeway for malfeasance, encouraged by the idea that he was somehow irreplaceable.
For upstart CEOs like myself, this is an unhealthy example to follow. Rejecting needs like sleep and family time left me burnt out. I didn’t see it coming because I had on blinders, in pursuit of this unattainable image.
Lesson 2: When you are your business, your health is your business’s
Re-grouping in Utah, I sat down with one of my mentors, Lonnie Mayne. He had seen this coming. He said I had been maintaining a schedule that was bad for relationships, my family and – yes – bad for business. Having one person as the lynchpin of an entire company is unhealthy for all involved.
Ariana Huffington has recently expanded her career to study this phenomenon, promoting a restful-but-successful lifestyle in the wake of personal tolls that came with running The Huffington Post. After seeing Elon Musk humblebrag on TV about his lifestyle of 100-plus hour workdays, she wrote him an open letter asking him to see the error of his ways.
Quoting a critical passage: “After 17-19 hours without sleep, we begin to experience levels of cognitive impairment equivalent to a blood alcohol level of .05 percent, just under the threshold for being legally drunk. No business leader would hire people who came to work drunk, so don’t model that behaviour for your employees.”
The start-up world is one where one bad decision can undo thousands of man-hours of hard work. Burning the candle at both ends drastically increases the odds of this happening.
Lesson 3: Take what you love and write it down
In the midst of this regroup, I told my mentor Mayne about the guilt I felt when I wasn’t working. Often, I’d sit down to watch a football match but internally beat myself up for not focusing on my enormous to-do list. If I wasn’t working, I wasn’t happy.
In response to my company’s to-do list, Mayne suggested developing one of my own. We started by writing a list of everything that mattered to me: Friends, family, fitness, health, watching sports, snowboarding. To ensure balance, we broke them down into my primary focus for that month and things that were important and needed attention but were not a top priority. I shared this with my wife and our executive team so they understood where my focus was.
Finally, I weighed my personal list against my company’s and made some real concessions to ensure I would be able to prioritise both. I completely restructured my schedule for the rest of the year, switching from 80:20 travel to 20:80, and committing to being more present with my family and using my time more effectively to lead the business.
This ties back to Lesson 2, as a part of this involved delegating some areas of the business to my team. Rather than worry about keeping up with everything as the company grows, I’m proud knowing that I’ve put together a team that is capable of stepping in to share the burden.
There comes a point in a company’s growth where it’s no longer possible to maintain the “start-up grind” that was once necessary for survival. This isn’t a negative! This is a sign things are moving in the right direction.
Lesson 4: You’re not alone
Finally, I decided to write about this experience on LinkedIn. Initially, I was worried: What would my team think, how would existing and prospective investors react … would people think I was weak?
I couldn’t have been further from the mark.
My inbox was flooded with messages of support. I even had a VC email me to share that he had realised this lesson too late at his startup and had paid a heavy personal price as a result. Two months on, I’m more productive than ever before. I have more energy and a much clearer vision for the company. All while working fewer hours, focusing my time in the right place and not neglecting the people most important to me. Ultimately, I’ve managed to find a balance and make sure that I’m winning without losing.
If my story feels like yours, take a moment to evaluate your next three months and focus on the things that really matter. Odds are, you’ve already surrounded yourself with people who have the ability and know-how to deliver the things you thought too important to let go. Trust them to help your company achieve sustainable growth and watch yourself grow as a result.
This article was originally posted here on Entrepreneur.com.
3 Ways To Balance Your Business, Family And Everything Else
You can do it all (or at least make it easier to do everything you enjoy) with these smart tips from a successful entrepreneur.
The following excerpt is from Manny Khoshbin’s book Driven: The Never-Give-Up Roadmap to Massive Success.
Balancing your life is like one of those acrobatic acts where people are standing on top of one another balancing themselves — each person represents an important part of your life. You want to keep them all up there without anyone falling. Not so easy, is it?
To really appreciate and enjoy what you have, balancing the many aspects of your life is essential, but many people aren’t very good at it. I was one of those people in my first marriage. I was wrapped up in my business and not spending enough time and energy on my marriage. In the end, the marriage blew up.
I admit, it’s hard to say no to business when it comes knocking at your door, especially when you’re selling real estate and a qualified buyer comes along. However, if you don’t know when to put the brakes on and slow down, you may find yourself out of control and missing out on a lot of your life.
Many people get a taste of success and they want to scale it, so they just dive into it 24/7. The next thing they know, 10 years have gone by and they’ve built a huge empire but lost sight of everything else. They realise that their spouse is now their ex, their kids are now teenagers, other family members, as well as friends, have moved on, and they’ve missed so much of their personal life that not even money can buy it back.
So, how do you balance work, family and everything else? For one thing, you need to accept that you have to make many compromises, have a positive attitude and know that it can be done.
Besides running my own business, Leyla and I are partners in her business. Warning: This type of arrangement will not work for all couples, but it can work well, provided you clarify your positions and respect each other’s roles.
The trick is knowing how to combine, and then separate, business and marriage. For example, Leyla and I sometimes have to go to Los Angeles for meetings or to an expo or a beauty show in Las Vegas. We take the opportunity to make a full weekend out of it, working at the event and then going out on the town.
At home, we have date nights at least once a week, even if all we do is grab a quick dinner and then come back home. It’s important to break the routine and put business aside. On weekends, Leyla’s business is closed and I don’t work, and we spend time with our kids. We try to make time for each of our top priorities: our family, each other and our work.
Unfortunately, when you’re working together and discussing, or sometimes arguing, about business during the day, it’s difficult to switch gears when you get home and shift into husband-and-wife mode. We try to be careful to stop ourselves without letting the day spill over into our personal life together.
I’ll admit, however, that it does take some practice, learning how to turn the switch off before you leave the office to go home. But in time it gets easier. You need to set some rules together, then make sure you’re both on board with those rules.
Hobbies and passions: cars and cigars
You also need time for your hobbies. Ever since I was a teenager, I’ve loved exotic cars. I bought my first exotic car in 1992, a Nissan 300ZX Twin Turbo. Fast-forward 10 years, and I had started falling in love with Ferraris as well as Porsches. I have continued collecting cars, and I now have 15 cars.
Even though they’re a hobby, I have an entrepreneurial spirit when it comes to my passion for cars. In fact, I view them in a similar way that I do great pieces of property, though I’d prefer to keep them than sell to the highest bidder. To me, they’re like works of art that I view as investments, knowing that they’re of great value.
Cars aren’t my only passion, though. It’s important to have some passions that you can enjoy away from work, from family and from everything else. You also want some alone time. For example, I also own a cigar lounge (www.CubanoRoom.com) where I can go to relax by myself or meet another successful member while smoking a fine cigar.
I treat my passions like a business because that’s who I am — I enjoy them and also make money – but it doesn’t have to be that way. If you enjoy bicycling, you don’t have to go and open a bicycle store. You can simply find a group of riders, do some travelling and have fun.
It’s important to fit some alone time into your busy balancing act. We all need some moments when we escape from everyone and everything. The best thing to do is figure out what makes you happy and balance the hustle of your busy life with your own passion.
Related: How To Work 10 Hours Less Each Week
Family time is so important to me, both as a father and as a member of an extended family. Besides spending time with Leyla and my children, I see my parents often. I bought them a ranch about 90 miles away from Newport Beach back in 2004. Now they visit us every Friday or Saturday – we have a barbecue and play backgammon or cards.
We also see Leyla’s mom and sister often. Her mom still works as a registered nurse and lives in Beverly Hills. Leyla’s sister is nearby in San Diego where she works for a company called Houzz, an online community for home construction, landscape design, home improvement, repairs and so forth.
Leyla and I both recognise the importance of having our extended family nearby and making time to spend together. Otherwise, time goes by quickly, and you suddenly realise that it’s been years since you spent some quality time together.
This article was originally posted here on Entrepreneur.com.
Join The Mustang Revolution
Experience the dream and take it for a test drive today.
Every new Mustang brings a renewal, of the human spirit, the open road, and the wanderlust that exists within us all. For over 5 decades, America’s legendary Pony car has delivered countless moments of pure exhilaration.
The new Mustang is loaded with bravado, coiled with confidence. It honours this authentic lineage – by launching it forward, with advanced new technology that allows for a level of personalisation not seen before. But very familiar to a new generation of free spirits, who refuses stereotypes, encourage self-expression. Are you ready for this?
The evolution of the mustang
How do you reinvent a car that’s more than a car: An icon that forever changed the landscape of the automotive industry? You don’t. You just make it better. You bring it back to its original roots in a modern way. You create something that’s instantly classic and completely new. 50 years on, we’ve breathed new life into a legend.
Legends who choose to partner with the legend
Jay Leno, the former king of American late-night television, is known to be an avid car collector. In his collection is a 1965 Shelby Mustang GT 350, one of Americas most desirable muscle cars.
President Bill Clinton owned a 1967 Ford Mustang Convertible before he entered office. He said he found it hard to leave the car behind in Arkansas when he moved into the White House.
Charlie Sheen, veteran actor of the big and small screen, also owned several Mustangs. A Classic 1966 Mustang GT was once on display at Galpin Auto Sport in Calif. Another of his Mustangs, a 1968 Shelby, was featured in the movie ‘Money Talks’.
Patrick Dempsey loves his Mustangs. He loves them so much he raced a specially-built Mustang FR500C in the Grand-Am Road Racing KONI series. When he’s not on the race track he’s the proud owner of a 1965 Ford Mustang Coupe, which was featured at the 2007 SEMA Show.
Jim Morrison reportedly only ever owned a 1967 Nightmist Blue Shelby GT 500. The car was a gift from Electra Records, but rumour has it that he wrapped the car around a telephone pole, and it was never seen again.
Sammy Hagar, former lead singer of iconic rock band Van Halen, is the former owner of a 1967 Shelby GT500. He’s also the owner of the first GCM-R Mustang, one of 100 custom built by Gateway Classic Mustang.
Tim Allen reportedly has a USD50 000 hyper-customised Mustang, which does 0 to 60 mph in 4.9 seconds, reaching the quarter mile in 12.4 seconds and can achieve top speeds of 184 mph.
Bob Seger is known for his love of muscle cars from the 1960’s and 70’s. Included in his collection are a Mach 1 Mustang and a classic GT350.
Kelly Clarkson is a lover and owner of Mustang’s. She prominently features a red/white striped GT500 in her music video ‘Go’, she is also rumoured to have owned a hot pink Mustang.
Eminem reportedly bought a brand new 1999 Mustang Convertible with his first royalty cheque after becoming a worldwide superstar.
There’s a certain feeling you get when you start the engine and hear Mustang’s iconic growl for the first time. The Mustang’s design is just as thrilling.
Taking inspiration from classic airplane cockpits, the Mustang struck a balance between analogue dials and digital feedback. The gear shifter is optimally placed. And the steering wheel just feels right in your hands, for a dynamic driving experience.
Everything about the Mustang’s design makes your jaw drop. The sharp HID headlamps and signature tri-bar taillamps. The front end that screams energy. The sleek, lean and low body. The improved aerodynamics. Designed with a passion for the legend that is Mustang – this is as good as it gets.
SYNC®3 is a responsive, fully integrated, voice activation system that lets you use your favourite devices while your hands stay on the wheel and your eyes stay safely on the road. Sync your phone to call your friends, play your favourite music or find the perfect temperature with hands-free Climate Control.
Seamless integration via programs like Apple CarPlay™ allow you choice on how to remain connected to your world. Equipped with a customisable 8” Colour LCD capacitive Touch Screen; SYNC®3 is quicker and more responsive than ever before.
Rear View Camera
Trouble with parallel parking or reversing into tight spaces? No problem. Ford’s Rear View Camera lets you see behind you. And the Rear Parking Sensors beep to let you know how close you are to objects behind you. The system even turns the music down, so you can hear the beep clearly.
Keyless Entry and Push-button Start
We can’t find your keys for you, but as long as you have the key fob on you, you’re ready to go. Simply unlock the driver’s door with a touch of the handle. To start her up, just put your foot on the brake, press the START/STOP button and you’re away.
Mustang has unleashed two engine options, 5.0L Ti-VCT V8 and 2.3L EcoBoost® both marvels of engineering.
2.3L EcoBoost Engine
The EcoBoost model features the twin-scroll turbocharged 2.3L EcoBoost engine, giving you exhilarating performance with reduced fuel consumption.
5.0L V8 Engine
The Mustang GT’s 5.0L engine has been expertly engineered to maximize power from every compression.
Boasting strong power and torque, Mustang GT’s engine roar and wide-eyed acceleration are the stuff of the legends
Electric Power Assisted Steering (EPAS)
Electric Power Assisted Steering adjusts to provide you with greater control in a range of road and weather conditions, and even crosswinds and potholes. And it only activates when needed, saving you fuel. Best of all, you’re in control. Choose between three power-assisted settings to adjust steering effort: comfort, sport and normal.
6-Speed SelectShift with Paddle Shifters
Mustang’s SelectShift gives you the thrill of using a manual transmission with the ease of an automatic. Simply toggle the race car-inspired Paddle Shifters on the steering wheel to shift gears up or down, for smooth and effortless gear changes.
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