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Sexually Transmitted Debt

Women’s men and their debt could have a serious impact on a woman’s wealth.

Hesta van der Westhuizen




I have a client, let’s call her Trudie. When I met her a number of years ago, she was a successful project manager, working for a large bank. She was earning a higher than average salary and owned her own house, in which she even had some equity as she had already paid off a portion of the bond.

Apart from a small bit of credit card debt (she suffers from the normal woman disease where she cannot pass a pair of pretty shoes and expensive handbags!) she did not owe anybody else money.

Enter an old boyfriend and, after pledging his ever-after love, he moved in with her. He soon after lost his job; a habit he repeated at least three times in the time they were together.

So Trudie started supporting him financially, and then his family (mother got sick, did not have money for the operation or medicine; sister needed money to start a business) and finally his addictions (cigarettes, alcohol, drugs).

When he finally left her life, she was in debt to the amount of R200 000. She had maxed out her credit cards and her access bond. And that all because of the man she chose to share her life with.

The consequences of your choices

The problem is that Trudie is not an exception to the rule.  I myself cannot claim the ability to only choose appropriate men who will remain employed, provide for their share of living expenses and help me build a healthy balance sheet.

I have come across many women who suffer their men’s inability to work with money – or worse, their men’s ability to make hard-earned money disappear into holes unmentionable.

Part of the problem is that our nurturing nature feels so sorry for them. “Shame, if I do not give him the money now, how is he going to survive?”

Steps you can take

So how do we tackle this?

  • Before your money becomes ‘our’ money, check out his money habits very very carefully: Is he a spender or a saver? Does he have a budget?  Does he keep to his budget or are his months longer than his money?
  • What is his philosophy about ‘stuff’? The bigger, the better, even if he cannot afford it? For example, if he has to choose between a smaller TV for which he can pay cash or a 64” one that he has to go into debt for, which one does he choose?
  • Can you talk money with him? Or is he secretive, both about his income and his expenses?
  • Do the two of you have the same life goals and how it will affect how you will spend your money? This includes things like children and how many or travelling.
  • How would his long-term work goals affect your finances – for example if he wants to ditch a financially secure corporate job to start his own business. Or if he wants to retire early.

We as women have come a long way in becoming independent, and in some instances, seriously wealthy in our own right.

But I am sure that none of the women on the rich lists of either the Sunday Times or Forbes magazine allows the men in their lives to be money drips.

[box style=”gray,info” ]What’s Keeping You Poor?[/box]

Hesta van der Westhuizen CFP is a Certified Financial Planner at Consolidated Financial Planning and has a BCom-degree and Advanced Post Graduate diploma in Financial Planning Law. She is also Chairperson of the Financial Planning Institute’s Risk committee. For more information please visit:

Personal Finance

10 Tips To Become A Millionaire This Year

Becoming a millionaire requires changing your mindset and implementing some changes.

Murray Newlands



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Becoming a millionaire may seem out of your reach, but it’s possible with the right attitude and guidance. The fact of the matter is your income can only grow as quickly as you do, so you need to change your mindset to achieve your goal of becoming a millionaire.

Once you have a millionaire mind, you can’t lose it, no matter what financial or business mistakes you make along the way. To get yourself there, you’re going to need some structure. To help you, I’ve outlined the top ten tips you should follow to become a millionaire this year.

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Personal Finance

If You Think These 5 Things, You’ll Never Get Rich By The Time You’re 30

Five common mistakes entrepreneurs make when starting a business and how to correct them.



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Last week, I had lunch with a millennial who wanted some advice about a business he’s starting. After the usual small talk, we got down to discussing his business plan. Within a short time, it was clear that his business idea was great, his plan for executing was fairly solid and he had gathered together a strong team to help him make it happen.

So far, so good. But, to be frank, this guy has no chance of being successful with his current mentality. What it takes to be rich (or successful in any measure) has a lot more to do with your mindset than your ideas and plans.

From the time we started in business at the ripe ages of six and seven, our Grandpa Joe taught my brother Matthew and me many lessons about the details of running a profitable business. Over the years, we learned about how to create a business plan; how to market our products and services; and how to take care of customers, vendors and employees. All this knowledge has been invaluable to us in creating and running successful businesses. But, what our grandfather taught us about attitude and mindset trumps all other lessons.

Without calling out the specific individual I spoke with recently, below are five “hypothetical” attitudes that will get you nowhere in your journey to success – and the attitudes that should replace them.

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Personal Finance

5 Habits That Lead To Millionaire Business Success

You need the right habits if you’re going to succeed.

Timothy Sykes




What do all millionaire businesspeople have in common? Well, a lot of things.

I found from a recent study that 80 percent of all millionaires still go to work every single day. They’re working people just like me. But, they have to keep themselves in work or it all grinds to a halt. So what are the habits you need to make your business a success?

1. Patience

Nothing is ever going to come easy. You can look at the likes of Steve Jobs and Bill Gates, as well as the other usual suspects, to realize that success didn’t come with their first venture. Many of them failed time and time again. It took patience for them to become successful.

I read an article recently about 36-year-old teacher Andrew Hallam who became a self-made millionaire on a teaching salary. But, in his spare time he invested smart and lived frugally.

It proves you don’t have to inherit lots of money or become an instant success to make a millionaire business.

Related: 4 Ways To Become A Millionaire Even When You Start With Little

2. Dedication

You have to be dedicated to your craft if you’re going to become successful. Going back to Bill Gates again, he started his business in the back of his garage. Now that’s dedication.

It’s what I tell all my students. If they’re not dedicated to this, then they should leave. You need to be able to push through the barren periods if you’re going to reach the oasis of success.

3. Ambition and big dreams

Have you ever heard the quote, “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss you’ll land among the stars”?

I take that to heart because even if you aim to become a billionaire and miss you still might be a millionaire many times over. Take the Wright Brothers as an example. Not content with creating a successful glider in 1902 they went on to create the world’s first airplane in 1903, making four brief flights in Kitty Hawk. It demonstrates the importance of dreaming big because you never know what you might achieve.

Related: 12 Millionaire Habits To Start Making Serious Money Soon And Build Wealth In A Hurry

4. Learn from mistakes

Every good businessperson will mess something up. It’s inevitable. What’s important is how you learn from your mistakes over time. Do you adapt after making your mistakes?

Millionaire businesspeople always set some time aside to reflect. Then they create a plan of action for ensuring that it doesn’t happen again. Most failed businesspeople put it down to “bad luck.”

5. Focus on niches

This important! Try to take over a whole industry at once and you’ll inevitably get swallowed up by the competition. Start small and control your own niche before moving into another niche. When you master your small area, you can push on and expand.

Related: 21 Choices Millionaires Make That You Aren’t Making But Should Be

You’ll be amazed at how much easier it is to expand after you master your own niche/audience first.

Do you have what it takes? That’s the question I always ask novice businesspeople. You need a plan and you need the right habits if you’re going to succeed.

This article was originally posted here on

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